just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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