how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
