Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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