My nipple is on Facebook.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
