smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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