you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
