waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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