idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
