at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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