so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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