i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
