Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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