You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
this beer tastes like vomit already
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
