ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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