you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she smelled like a LAN party
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
