you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
