Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
