did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
