whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
