I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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