so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
