Sponge bath it is.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
