I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
