I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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