honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
