you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
