what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Actions speak louder than pants.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
