Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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