Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
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