I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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