just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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