I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You made out with two different species that night
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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