its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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