Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
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