My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
