dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
