I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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