Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
