Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
These tits shall not be calmed
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
