i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
we should paint friendship bongs
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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