I molested 6 butterflies tonight
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
