Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
