we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
