is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just blew my weed a kiss
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
