D3 body, D1 cock
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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