Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
where does the pee come out of this thing
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
