The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
