Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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