His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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