the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
