so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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