It's Friday. Sex?
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
