Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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