This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
